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| Rick Perry looks awfully Presidential.. |
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers - There is no possible way the Chargers repeat what happened last season. Philip Rivers is too good and the Chargers are way too talented. Sounds like a done deal right? No. There are four factors that could derail the Chargers' season:
1.If the Special Teams do not improve
2. If Ryan Matthews does not develop into a quality running back
3. If Norv Turner is himself.
4. The next team on this list.
2. Kansas City Chiefs - The Chiefs surprised everyone and made a run to the playoffs last year. In the offseason, they got even better, adding Steve Breaston, Leron McClain, and Jared Gaither to an offense that already was phenomenal. Dwayne Bowe has come into camp in the best shape of his life - by the way, how is it that every year, there are 20 or so players who always report in the best shape of their lives? Yet, I don't have the Chiefs winning the division. Why? Because the Chargers are damn good and I don't trust Matt Cassel..at all.
On a side note, I don't put much stock into preseason football, but the Chiefs' offense in their first game was something from a grainy 1930s film before Knute Rockne invented the forward pass. That was distressing to watch.
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| Expect to see a lot of this. Jamaal Charles is a baad man. |
3. Oakland Raiders - I actually appreciate the Raiders' talent, besides Jason Campbell. They have a very strong running game and their receivers are pretty solid other than colossal bust Darius Heyward-Bey. The defense is one of the best in the league. Too bad the league is a quarterbacks league and Jason Campbell can't lead a fish to water.
4. Denver Broncos - Kyle Orton sucks. I really don't care what anyone else says. Kyle Orton has always been a below-average quarterback, who put up ridiculous stats last year because Josh McDaniel was a pass-happy psycho head coach. It's the same reason Brandon Lloyd put up his mega-stats. Tebow might be better than Orton. Give him a chance. The Broncos, on the other hand, are no where near the rest of the division.
AFC South
1. Houston Texans - Say whattt?! The Texans, for the last five years, have been the surprise team, the media darling before the season starts. It's finally time for them to win the division. If they don't, Gary Kubiak has go tot be fired. The defense finally has pieces and a legitimate defensive coordinator - Wade Phillips. Too bad he couldn't cut it as a head coach. What a bubbly man.
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| No Wade, it's not your fault the Cowboys suck. They just suck. |
2. Indianapolis Colts - It's finally the season the Colts and Peyton Manning take a step back...or is it? This is probably the dumbest prediction I"ve made, but betting against Manning is like sticking your hand in a fire and expecting it to not hurt. It just doesn't happen. However, with his neck injury and his increasing age, I'm expecting a few more nagging injuries and Dan Orlovsky to step in to the starting quarterback spot at some point this season - a scenario, which no one wants to see.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars - This is most likely David Garrard's last season starting at quarterback before he joins the ranks of Aaron Brooks, Jeff Blake, Daunte Culpepper, and Rodney Peete as black ex-starting quarterbacks who will go through three teams in the next four years as a backup. Blaine Gabbert looks ready to start. The loss of Mike Sims-Walker will hurt, but once again the offense will run through MJD. (Speaking of dumb predictions, who was the idiot that projected MJD to be a bust on draft day? Oh wait, that was me...)
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| I miss Jeff Blake throwing to Darnay Scott and Carl Pickens. |
4. Tennessee Titans - Why does Matt Hasselbeck at quarterback not scare anyone ? Because it shouldn't. Hasselbeck has been done for at least two years and his arm strength is greatly deteriorating. Jake Locker will be in by Week 10. Chris Johnson doesn't want to come to camp and might hold out into the season. Kenny Britt is probably getting arrested as we speak. Thank god the defense is decent - Jason Jones is going to have a huge season playing all over the defensive line - because in Nashville, it's going to be a long year.
AFC North
1.Pittsburgh Steelers - As long as the Pittsburgh Steelers have Big Ben, I really don't think I'll pick any other team to win the division. No one else can beat him. I also hear the defense is pretty good..
2. Cleveland Browns - The Browns are going to make a strong push for the playoffs, beginning with the defense stepping it up a notch. Phil Taylor at defensive tackle will make a bigger impact than people are predicting. Don't underestimate Peyton Hillis either.
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| Attempting to tackle Peyton Hillis could be a punishment in GITMO. |
3. Baltimore Ravens - I know a lot of people will take issue with this, but the Ravens did not make any moves to help the offense until acquiring Lee Evans late last week. The offensive line is horrendous - Michael Oher, despite his fame, cannot play left tackle. Matt Birk needs to get back asap and he's not even that good. Michael Vick and the Eagles marched right down the field against the vaunted defense, which might be getting too old to keep up with the rest of the NFL. This might be it for Ray Lewis and Ed Reed.
4. Cincinatti Bengals - I really don't need to say anything, but if the Bengals are serious about winning, which is always in doubt, then they need to trade Carson Palmer for whatever they can get for him. This team is not good enough to play hardball with one of its most valuable assets. This is similar to a floundering country in the Middle East - Libya, for example - not willing to distribute its oil to the rest of the world because of different political ideologies. I know this had nothing to do with football, but too bad. Also, good luck to Andy Dalton, who threw an interception on his first pass in preseason. Thank god for AJ Green.
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| Is Andy Dalton wearing a helmet? Never trust a ginger.. |
AFC East
1. New York Jets - After losing out on Nnamdi Asomugha, Rex Ryan bit the bullet and brought back Antonio Cromartie. Plaxico Burress adds another redzone target for Mark Sanchez, who has to get better and more consistent this season for the Jets to play in the Super Bowl. Bringing in Derrick Mason should help alleviate the loss of Braylon Edwards, but this is going to come down to two things: defense and stopping Tom Brady when it counts. The Jets did it last season in the playoffs against the Patriots. I'd like to see it happen again.
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| Maybe the next time Rex Ryan has a foot fetish, Plaxico Burress can shoot his foot... |
2. New England Patriots - The Patriots did what the Patriots do - bring in malcontents and offer hope to the rest of the civilized world that anyone can be fixed with proper guidance. Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco are going to have to abide by Bill Belicheck's rules or they'll be out of there by the time the regular season starts. Let's see what the defensive line of the Patriots looks like come Week 1. Expect the Patriots to play many 4-3 fronts with Carter-Haynesworth-Wilfork-Ellis. That's scary anyway you look at it. But can they beat the Jets? Belichek is going to have to figure out a way to win his first playoff game since cheat-gate was exposed and he lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants.
3. Miami Dolphins - Dolphin fans are idiots. I understand not being happy with Chad Henne, but clamoring for Kyle Orton? Really? For this, I'd like to refer to Bunk Moreland, he of The Wire fame: "Makes me sick motherfucker, how far we done fell."
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| Bunk telling it like it is. Omar listenin'. |
Nice thoughts. Can't wait to read part two.
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