Why Character Doesn't Mean Anything in the NFL

The buzz around Washington after the 27-24 loss to the Cowboys and their sixth straight loss was that the Redskins showed heart and character. Excuse me, but WHAT?! This is a team of professionals who make a boat load of money to play with heart and character?!

Pretty damn close to burgundy and gold

Hell, he would look good in burgundy and gold too

Character doesn't mean anything in the NFL unless you're winning. If a team full of character is giving enough effort for a 3-7 record, then give me a team with no character at all that's 7-3. All in all though,
I'm glad the Redskins lost yesterday - the battle to get Matt Barkley or Robert Griffin III has begun. The team has a lot of holes and Quarterback is clearly the number one priority going into the offseason. Just some things I have learned about the Redskins:

1) Rex Grossman is definitely a professional quarterback in the league. He's just not a good one. John Beck, on the other hand, might be set for a career as an assistant coach.

2) After all the money and draft picks spent on the defense in the offseason and the defense only has a few playmakers - Brian Orakpo, Ryan Kerrigan, London Fletcher, and a healthy Laron Landry. Too bad Landry hasn't been healthy all season.

3) Deangelo Hall is not a #1 corner, especially for the money he's been making. Josh Wilson is serviceable as a #2 and Kevin Barnes is a decent #3/#4. The team needs to get a #1 corner in the offseason if they plan on stopping teams/Dez Bryant on 3rd down and long.

No, D-Hall, we haven't seen much of this season.

4) Graham Gano has got to go. He is the master of making kicks which won't matter. As a former member of the Graham Gano bandwagon, I apologize. Sav Rocca on the other hand is the best punter Washington has seen...ever. He might be the MVP of the team. I'm also glad Brandon Banks decided to start playing in Week 11..

I guarantee this was a miss.

5)No coach needs to get fired this offseason - not Mike Shanahan, not Kyle Shanahan, and definitely not Jim Haslett. Redskin Nation has cried for continuity over the last 15 years and it's better to have continuity rather than changing systems for the umpteenth time. At least Jim Zorn is not coaching, right?

Around the NFL

-If Jim Harbaugh does not win coach of the year, then the world is clearly heading towards the shitter. Hell, he deserves a Nobel Prize for making Carlos Rogers catch.

-There are a lot of good quarterbacks in the league, but you have to wonder how much of that is impacted by the new offense-friendly rules in the game. There has been a lot of offense the last several years and it's not because the quality of defensive players has decreased.

-The Raiders are going to win the division. That is just remarkable. Good for Carson Palmer and good for the Raiders because they'll be losing top picks to the Bengals in the next two drafts.

-Next year is very crucial for three players - Josh Freeman, Mark Sanchez, and Sam Bradford. It's put up or shut up time for these guys.

Next season is pivotal for Josh Freeman

-What is wrong with the Eagles? They're just a fragile team headed by a fragile quarterback, a very disappointing offensive line, and a linebacker-less defense. Granted they beat the Giants, but Eli Manning has weeks where he looks like Peyton and those when he looks like Cooper.

-The NFC might have just lost its best contender to unseat the Packers in the Chicago Bears. Jay Cutler's injury is devastating and anyone who thinks Cutler is not a top ten quarterback is a moron.


-Matt Leinart finally gets his chance to start for a NFL team with a running game. We'll see if he actually does something or continues to make more excuses.

Arian Foster should make Leinart's job a lot easier

-Colt McCoy is not a franchise quarterback. The Browns might be looking for a QB in the first round as well, maybe someone who can throw in Pat Shurmur's offense. By the way, this whole Peyton Hillis situation is just weird.

-Drew Brees and his Saints will roll into the playoffs as the Division Winner. Matt Ryan will take his Falcons there as a wild card. It's time for Ryan to do something in the playoffs or else he'll just be another also-ran.

-Jake Locker looked very good for the Titans. Too bad the Texans have such a huge lead or else the Titans could win the division...well it is still the Texans right..

-The Bills are fading fast, very fast. Seems like it was a long time ago that they were considered a playoff lock. Maybe Fitzpatrick should shave...speaking of which, I need to shave..

Suck it Fitzpatrick

-The one player from last year's draft who has surprised me the most is Christian Ponder. I thought Ponder would be an absolute scrub on the NFL level. The jury is still out on Ponder, but he has exceeded all my expectations.

-I don't understand how the Cowboys even struggled with the Redskins yesterday after hanging 44 on the Bills. Rob Ryan is also probably the most annoying person to look at on TV. Stop brushing your hair back, you're not Alyssa Milano.

Decision 2011 Rob Ryan..

or Alyssa Milano

-I still think the Steelers will win the AFC North, but both the Ravens and Bengals will make the playoffs. Andy Dalton is already the second best quarterback in the division (yes, better than Joe Flacco)

-I just wished the Chiefs started Ricky Stanzi. Just because.

Oh Ricky Stanzi..show me that Iowa lovin

I apologize for my long hiatus from the blog. I've been busy and I'm sure you all understand (except for you guys who just go to my blog every week...aka none of you..)

P.S. Check out my man Alex Logan's website: http://www.goingviraltomorrow.com. This shit needs to go viral TODAY.

NFL Week 1 Picks - Vegas Style

With the first NFL season beginning since the inception of The Daily Darsh mere hours away, I'm going to release my Week 1 picks. While I don't have my own phone line for these picks and don't scream in a hysterical fashion when I tell you my picks, they are solid. Coming from the proud gambling heritage of Thomas S. Wootton High School, where education was secondary to gambling, I've won more than my fair share of games...and more importantly, I've won more than I've lost. So here we go:

The Vegas of the East

WINNERS IN BOLD

New Orleans Saints (+4.5) vs. Green Bay Packers

While Roger Goodell and the NFL gods gave us a great game to start off the NFL season, the line Vegas gave was weak..very weak. Picking the Saints +4.5 is a tough choice, but this game is pretty much even. Whichever team that wins will win by more than a touchdown and in this game, it's going to be the Saints.

Saints 31 Packers 20

Pittsbugh Steelers (+1.5) @ Baltimore Ravens

Yes, this game is in Baltimore. But why would you ever bet against the Steelers when they play the Ravens, especially considering recent history and the fact that the Ravens' offensive line is a turnstile for Steeler pass rushers to get to Joe Flacco. Also, expect a big day from the Steelers' receivers, who are going up against a very inexperienced secondary in Baltimore.

Steelers 20 Ravens 9

Expect more of this...

Detroit Lions @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1.0)

And now the new Houston Texans of the NFL are the Detroit Lions. While the Lions are headed in the right direction, they are not there yet. Give them time, they're still a very young team and will need more than just a few intimidating defensive lineman and a top-3 receiver to make the playoffs. The Buccaneers are a much more complete team with Josh Freeman, LeGarrette Blount, and Mike Williams on offense. However, the Buccaneers defensive front seven could be a weakness considering its youth, but Jahvid Best hasn't done anything since the first game of last year.

Buccaneers 17 Lions 13

Atlanta Falcons (-3.0) @ Chicago Bears

This seems awfully disrespectful at first: the Bears are coming back from an appearance in a NFC Championship game and are at home. However, the Falcons are probably the most explosive offense after adding former Alabama WR Julio Jones. The weather conditions in Chicago on Sunday probably aren't going to be dreadful like they will be in December and the Falcons' offense should fly.

Falcons 28 Bears 13

Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City (-6.0)

The Chiefs should win this game handily provided Matt Cassel plays. If Cassel doesn't play, then all bets are off although Tyler Palko has looked good in the Preseason. Let's just hope they don't have to put in Ricky Stanzi. The Bills, after trading Lee Evans, are extremely reliant on Steve Johnson and CJ Spiller. While I trust Johnson (although he blames God for his hands), I don't trust Spiller.

Chiefs 17 Bills 9

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans (-8.5)

The big story in this game is obviously the absence of Peyton Manning. If the Texans don't win this game, they don't deserve to win the division, and probably deserve to be kicked out of the NFL.

Let's hope Curtis Painter doesn't see the field this Sunday or ever.

Texans 38 Colts 13

Philadelphia Eagles @ St. Louis Rams (+4.5)

No, the Rams won't win this game, but it'll be closer than many people think. All the pundits are going gaga over the Eagles' offseason additions, but I trust the Rams' defense more than I trust their offense. Bradford is not an elite quarterback, yet. That offense, other than Steven Jackson, does not have anyone that strikes fear into any defense, unless you think Mike Sims-Walker is the second coming of Randy Moss and Danny Amendola to be the new Wes Welker. They're not. However, Chris Long and the Rams' defense will be even better after another year under Steve Spagnuolo.

Eagles 17 Rams 14

Tennessee Titans (+1.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Neither quarterback is going to do much this game. Matt Hasselbeck won't because the Titans need Chris Johnson to produce worth his contract and Luke McCown won't because he's...Luke McCown. Both running backs are going to be running for 100+ this game, but the Titans have a little bit more firepower than the Jaguars. P.S. Way to go Jacksonville for releasing David Garrard the one year Peyton Manning is going to miss a significant number of games..

Titans 14 Jaguars 3


Carolina Panthers  (+7.0) @ Arizona Cardinals

The Cam Newton lovefest begins. No, not really, but I don't think the Panthers will be as bad as last year when they had world beaters Jake Delhomme and Matt Moore at Quarterback. Deangelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart should be able to replicate the success of two years ago and Greg Olsen was a huge addition. The Cardinals should still win this game, but I just don't trust Kevin Kolb yet....not after 5 games with the Eagles.

Cardinals 16 Panthers 13

Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns (-6.5)


The Browns should win this game by 30. However, the Browns defense is nowhere near the caliber of a NFL defense. On the other hand, the Bengals' offense is nowhere near a college offense. Watch for Peyton Hillis and Montario Hardesty to run roughshod.


Browns 23 Bengals 10

If Hillis can't get it done, expect to see more Hardesty.

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers (-5.5)

As long as the Seahawks start Tarvaris Jackson, I don't expect them to win any games. If Pete Carroll starts Charlie Whitehurst, then I'll start paying attention. The Harbaugh era will get off to a good start in San Francisco.

49ers 20 Seahawks 10

Minnesota Vikings @ San Diego Chargers (-9.0)

After starting slow out of the gates for the last 300 years, the pressure seems to finally have hit the Chargers. It's put up or shut up time for Norv Turner. While Ryan Matthews is as unreliable as ever, Philip Rivers should have a huge day. The Vikings don't stand a chance in this game. Adrian Peterson is still the best running back in the league, but remember the Chargers return the #1 defense in the league from last year. However, Donovan McNabb is at the point in his career where he can't elevate the play of his receivers around him.

Chargers 30 Vikings 10

Dallas Cowboys @ New York Jets (-4.5)

The annual hype-fest of the Cowboys has begun. Too bad their first game is against the Jets. The Cowboys will be missing Michael Jenkins, Terence Newman, and Tyron Smith...so both starting corners are out and there will be two rookies and a journeyman starting on the offensive line. This might be a blowout, especially since the Jets will be playing with the emotional fans on 9/11 behind them.

Jets 33 Cowboys 20

New England Patriots (-7.0) @ Miami Dolphins

We will finally find out whether the offseason additions of Chad Johnson (I refuse to call him Chad Ochocinco) and Albert Haynesworth will pay off for the Patriots. The defense should be better for the Patriots and while all the pieces might not gel yet, they do play a Dolphins team that is reluctantly starting Chad Henne after failing to acquire Kyle Orton. BTW did I add that head coach Tony Sparano and general manager Jeff Ireland are on the hotseat? So much for the Parcells tree.

Patriots 38 Dolphins 7

Oakland Raiders (+3.0) @ Denver Broncos

Darren McFadden in 2010 put up 274 yards and 3 TD's against the Broncos. Expect more of the same even though the Broncos defense is now headed by John Fox. Kyle Orton and the Broncos will be playing catchup and will put up a ton of passing yards. Too bad the defense is just not there yet. Expect the Raiders to run right at Von Miller, a good pass rusher, but terrible in run support.

Raiders 27 Broncos 20

New York Giants @ Washington Redskins (+3.0)

I think the Redskins win this game and here's why: the Giants defense is more beat up than Rihanna post-Chris Brown. Led by raging sex-pot Rex Grossman, the Redskins should be able to withstand the loss of Laron Landry and Chris Cooley for at least one week. The real winners of this game are the citizens of this great nation. On the ten year anniversary of 9/11, football is back and better than ever. RIP all the victims of 9/11 and all hail the firefighters, police, and all the heroes of that infamous day. Also, all HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!

Redskins 23 Giants 20

Rex Grossman in his best of times

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

The Official Darshymania 2011-2012 NFL Season Preview - NFC

Now that Week 2 of the Preseason is over, it's time to preview the NFC...which is much harder to do than the AFC. The NFC has a mind-boggling number of quality teams and a bunch of teams on the up and up. It's a lot more muddled than the AFC. Now, time to put this one down like Casey Anthony (ok ok...my bad).

Did she eat her baby too?

NFC

NFC West


1. Seattle Seahawks - Expect more of the same from this division. No team has stood out in the offseason and separated itself from the pack. My pick of Seattle winning the division is contingent on one thing: Charlie Whitehurst starting. Whitehurst, at times last year, looked very competent for Pete Carroll and won the final game of the season over the Rams to get into the playoffs so Carroll decides to dump long time Seahawk Matt Hasselbeck and bring in Tarvaris Jackson and hand the starting spot to Jackson...T-Jackshit is the worst quarterback in the league. I was ready to give up my Redskins fandom if my team had signed him and would not follow the team while he was on the roster. I don't know how any team can take a chance on him. If Jackson starts, this team is finishing last in the division. After the first two preseason games, I hope Carroll seriously reconsiders his decision...for the sake of the fans in the Great Northwest.

2. St. Louis Rams - I originally had the Rams lower, but then I realized how bad this division actually is. This would be a major disappointment to Rams brass and fans alike - many are already pegging in the Rams for the playoffs. Apparently I missed something but Sam Bradford is best thing since sliced bread and Tim Tebow..As of now in his career, Bradford has proved nothing but for being a check-down specialist and leading the Rams to a ...7-9 record! Since when does going 7-9 mean you are the next Joe Montana? Now, I know the Rams have added weapons to the offense and Josh McDaniels has taken over as Quarterbacks coach, but how much better is the team really? Give it time Rams fans. You're still more lambs than Rams.

3. San Francisco 49ers - Jim Harbaugh leaves Palo Alto for the confines of San Francisco and has to deal with Alex Smith and Colin Kaepernick, who by the way was sacked his first three snaps in the NFL. Welcome kid. The 49ers could win this division if they get competent quarterback play. If Smith proves he's actually worthy of the jersey that he wears, this team has more offensive weapons than any other team in the division. If not, expect to see Harbaugh in the sweepstakes for his old sweetheart, Andrew Luck.

Maybe Harbaugh is in fact going after Luck...

4. Arizona Cardinals - Larry Fitzgerald just signed a 8 year 120 million dollar contract with 50 million dollars guaranteed. Meanwhile, the Cardinals are putting their hope on the arm of Kevin Kolb, a quarterback who has played all of four games for the Eagles. I don't see it...and besides didn't anyone see how Andy Reid's quarterbacks never seem to succeed anywhere else they go: A.J. Feely, Koy Detmer, Donovan McNabb and now soon to be Kevin Kolb.

What the hell ever happened to Koy Detmer?

 NFC South

1. Atlanta Falcons - The complete opposite of the NFC West, the NFC South might be the best division in all of football. The Falcons and Saints will battle it out to win the division and after giving up the city of Atlanta itself to acquire Julio Jones, the Falcons better have an offense that surpasses the Rams of 99, the Colts of 2005, and the Patriots of 2007. Signing Ray Edwards for the defense will help a ton, especially after the Falcons exit in the playoffs last year. It's time for Matt Ryan to step up in the playoffs.

2. New Orleans Saints - Sure, the Saints are going to be awesome this year and will most likely win the division or the wild card, but let's talk about what's really important: how I was right about Reggie Bush and how WRONG everyone else was. Before the 2006 NFL Draft, everyone, and I mean everyone -Mel Kiper, Mike Mayock, your mom, you, Mel Kiper's mom - all were on Reggie Bush's jock strap...except for me and a few others who clearly realized that speed backs who can't run inside have a tough time running around equally fast defenses. Sure the Saints won a Super Bowl and Bush contributed, but he is nowhere near the players people thought he was. There were 14 Probowlers selected in the first round of the 2006 NFL Draft and none were named Reggie Bush. Good Luck Miami!

Maurice Jones-Drew was picked 58 picks after Reggie Bush...

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Josh Freeman is young. OMG! He's good! OMG! He's mobile! OMG! The Bucs are really young! OMG! They have four top draft picks on the defensive line! OMG! Just like the old days! OMG! They're going to be awesome! OMG! They're going to the playoffs! OMG! Just not this year! WTF!

All Hail the Black Panther!

4. Carolina Panthers - As you all know, I love Cam Newton. He's a phenomenal talent who is misunderstood by a crapload of people, especially in the media. The Panthers have a bright future...BUT would have a brighter future if they played in any other division. It will take a while for Ron Rivera to build up his team so it can compete with the Saints and Falcons. At least, the fans have something to be excited about. All Hail Cam Newton, the Black Panther.

NFC North

1. Green Bay Packers - The defending Super Bowl Champions should not have many problems getting back to the playoffs. Aaron Rodgers is still Aaron Rodgers. The defense is still headed by Dom Capers. They get at least five players back from injury...including Ryan Grant. Lights out NFC North.

Ryan Grant has looked like his old self in the preseason.

2. Chicago Bears - The Bears will probably have a ho-hum season led by Jay Cutler throwing 24 touchdowns and 23 interceptions and will sit out the final game to get into the playoffs because of a broken toenail. Also, when the zombies come to kill his family, Cutler won't fight back because he will be in the toilet due to constipation.

3. Detroit Lions - The Lions are considered and up and coming team and both Nick Fairley and Mikel Leshoure both get injured in the off season - Fairley will be back some time in the regular season, but Leshoure is out for the year. Hopefully, Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, and Ndamakong Suh to their usual thing to keep the Lions afloat (and for Stafford, I actually mean the unusual and not get hurt). Speaking of Suh, does Vegas have an over/under on how much he is going to be fined this season?

Mike Leshoure will have to wait to play in the NFL.

4. Minnesota Vikings - Every team has a story line and the Vikings' storyline is that by bringing in a 34 year old quarterback, they actually became younger at the position. How depressing if you're a Vikings fan. Oh yeah, let's not forget that the team also took a quarterback in the first round, who many considered a reach and was drafted at least 15 picks too early...At least Adrian Peterson will be rushing 300 times and will be taking 300 hits...wait that's not good either (Thank god for Toby Gerhart).


NFC East

1. New York Giants - After punting their way out of the playoffs last year, the Giants are ready to go. Jason Pierre-Paul has taken over for Osi Umenyora and now with the hot seat on Tom Coughlin's ass so hot that he's blowing out smoke, expect the Giants to come back with a vengeance. People are going to think I'm absolutely crazy for this pick, but now I will explain why the...

2. Philadelphia Eagles - will NOT make the playoffs:

1. Andy Reid's coaching - The man can't win a big game to save his life. He's been there for 12 years and the Eagles have always choked down the stretch.
2. Michael Vick's health - Vick is never a safe bet to stay healthy going into December. His style of play is prone to injury and last time I checked, the Eagles offensive line isn't the hogs.
3. Vince Young might have to step in - I am a Vince Young fan and even I don't believe he can deal with the pressure of playing in Philly. Unfortunately, Tennessee might have been one of the least pressurized situations in the NFL and he screwed that up.
4. Too many egos - In 2000, the Redskins were coming off a second round playoff appearance and in the offseason added two picks in the top five -Chris Samuels and Lavar Arrington - and a plethora of free agents, many of whom were headed to the Hall of Fame: Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, Andre Reed, Irving Fryar, Mark Carrier, Jeff George etc. The Redskins started off 6-2 before imploding and finishing 8-8. Too many egos..one team.
5. The football gods - Just like Cleveland will never win a championship, the Eagles will have to wait till the end of eternity as well. Suck it Philly.

Vince Young in his finest hour...

3. Washington Redskins - I might be committing blasphemy by saying the Redskins will finish in third place in the division (The the last time Redskins fans didn't think their team would win the division, Jefferson was buying the Louisiana territory from Napoleon). However, this team will be better than people think. The defense is vastly upgraded - adding Barry Cofield, Stephen Bowen, Jarvis Jenkins, Ryan Kerrigan, Josh Wilson, and OJ Atogwe will do that. The offense, which was scaring me shit less before this week, might actually be decent. John Beck looked more than competent in his first start against the Colts and hopefully that continues into the regular season. What sucks now is if John Beck proves to be competent and wins, the Redskins can kiss goodbye to Andrew Luck. Sigh...even when we win, we lose. 

P.S. Pick your sides now. Team Jacob vs. Team Edward doesn't have shit on Team Beck vs. Team Rex.

Although Beck vs. Grossman is riveting, I'd rather have (Andrew) Luck.

 4. Dallas Cowboys - Dallas fans are sure to be irate with me, but I really don't care. That team is not that good. Cowboy fan are kidding themselves if they think last year was an aberration. It's time to understand that the Cowboys' talent has been overrated for years and Tony Romo is at best, a quarterback who will get you into the playoffs and that's it. If I hear anyone say he is right behind Manning, Brady, Rivers, and Roethlisberger, I'm going to chop their head off with my naginta.

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I would like you guys to take a moment of silence for the marriage of Kim Kardashian with Kris Humphries. Anyone else find it funny that tabloids refer to Kris Humphries as a NBA star. This is almost as bad as Marko Jaric being married to Adriana Lima. Seriously. Marko Jaric.

I really don't need to say anything.

The Official Darshymania 2011-2012 NFL Season Preview - AFC

The first week of Preseason games are about to be wrapped up so we know absolutely nothing about any of the teams. So logically, this is the perfect time to make predictions about the NFL season and an even more logical time to throw my support behind Rick Perry. Anything is better than Michele Bachman (other than the doofus we already have as President). So here we go, the first annual 2011-2012 NFL Season Preview.

Rick Perry looks awfully Presidential..

AFC


AFC West

1. San Diego Chargers - There is no possible way the Chargers repeat what happened last season. Philip Rivers is too good and the Chargers are way too talented. Sounds like a done deal right? No. There are four factors that could derail the Chargers' season:

1.If the Special Teams do not improve
2. If Ryan Matthews does not develop into a quality running back
3. If Norv Turner is himself.
4. The next team on this list.

2. Kansas City Chiefs - The Chiefs surprised everyone and made a run to the playoffs last year. In the offseason, they got even better, adding Steve Breaston, Leron McClain, and Jared Gaither to an offense that already was phenomenal. Dwayne Bowe has come into camp in the best shape of his life - by the way, how is it that every year, there are 20 or so players who always report in the best shape of their lives? Yet, I don't have the Chiefs winning the division. Why? Because the Chargers are damn good and I don't trust Matt Cassel..at all.

On a side note, I don't put much stock into preseason football, but the Chiefs' offense in their first game was something from a grainy 1930s film before Knute Rockne invented the forward pass. That was distressing to watch.

Expect to see a lot of this. Jamaal Charles is a baad man.

3. Oakland Raiders - I actually appreciate the Raiders' talent, besides Jason Campbell. They have a very strong running game and their receivers are pretty solid other than colossal bust Darius Heyward-Bey. The defense is one of the best in the league. Too bad the league is a quarterbacks league and Jason Campbell can't lead a fish to water.

4. Denver Broncos - Kyle Orton sucks. I really don't care what anyone else says. Kyle Orton has always been a below-average quarterback, who put up ridiculous stats last year because Josh McDaniel was a pass-happy psycho head coach. It's the same reason Brandon Lloyd put up his mega-stats. Tebow might be better than Orton. Give him a chance. The Broncos, on the other hand, are no where near the rest of the division.


AFC South

1. Houston Texans - Say whattt?! The Texans, for the last five years, have been the surprise team, the media darling before the season starts. It's finally time for them to win the division. If they don't, Gary Kubiak has go tot be fired. The defense finally has pieces and a legitimate defensive coordinator - Wade Phillips. Too bad he couldn't cut it as a head coach. What a bubbly man.

No Wade, it's not your fault the Cowboys suck. They just suck.

2. Indianapolis Colts - It's finally the season the Colts and Peyton Manning take a step back...or is it? This is probably the dumbest prediction I"ve made, but betting against Manning is like sticking your hand in a fire and expecting it to not hurt. It just doesn't happen. However, with his neck injury and his increasing age, I'm expecting a few more nagging injuries and Dan Orlovsky to step in to the starting quarterback spot at some point this season - a scenario, which no one wants to see.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars - This is most likely David Garrard's last season starting at quarterback before he joins the ranks of Aaron Brooks, Jeff Blake, Daunte Culpepper, and Rodney Peete as black ex-starting quarterbacks who will go through three teams in the next four years as a backup. Blaine Gabbert looks ready to start. The loss of Mike Sims-Walker will hurt, but once again the offense will run through MJD. (Speaking of dumb predictions, who was the idiot that projected MJD to be a bust on draft day? Oh wait, that was me...)

I miss Jeff Blake throwing to Darnay Scott and Carl Pickens.

4. Tennessee Titans - Why does Matt Hasselbeck at quarterback not scare anyone ? Because it shouldn't. Hasselbeck has been done for at least two years and his arm strength is greatly deteriorating. Jake Locker will be in by Week 10. Chris Johnson doesn't want to come to camp and might hold out into the season. Kenny Britt is probably getting arrested as we speak. Thank god the defense is decent - Jason Jones is going to have a huge season playing all over the defensive line - because in Nashville, it's going to be a long year.

AFC North 

1.Pittsburgh Steelers - As long as the Pittsburgh Steelers have Big Ben, I really don't think I'll pick any other team to win the division. No one else can beat him. I also hear the defense is pretty good..

2. Cleveland Browns - The Browns are going to make a strong push for the playoffs, beginning with the defense stepping it up a notch. Phil Taylor at defensive tackle will make a bigger impact than people are predicting. Don't underestimate Peyton Hillis either.

Attempting to tackle Peyton Hillis could be a punishment in GITMO.

3. Baltimore Ravens - I know a lot of people will take issue with this, but the Ravens did not make any moves to help the offense until acquiring Lee Evans late last week. The offensive line is horrendous - Michael Oher, despite his fame, cannot play left tackle. Matt Birk needs to get back asap and he's not even that good. Michael Vick and the Eagles marched right down the field against the vaunted defense, which might be getting too old to keep up with the rest of the NFL. This might be it for Ray Lewis and Ed Reed.


4. Cincinatti Bengals - I really don't need to say anything, but if the Bengals are serious about winning, which is always in doubt, then they need to trade Carson Palmer for whatever they can get for him. This team is not good enough to play hardball with one of its most valuable assets. This is similar to a floundering country in the Middle East - Libya, for example - not willing to distribute its oil to the rest of the world because of different political ideologies. I know this had nothing to do with football, but too bad. Also, good luck to Andy Dalton, who threw an interception on his first pass in preseason. Thank god for AJ Green.

Is Andy Dalton wearing a helmet? Never trust a ginger..

AFC East

1. New York Jets - After losing out on Nnamdi Asomugha, Rex Ryan bit the bullet and brought back Antonio Cromartie. Plaxico Burress adds another redzone target for Mark Sanchez, who has to get better and more consistent this season for the Jets to play in the Super Bowl. Bringing in Derrick Mason should help alleviate the loss of Braylon Edwards, but this is going to come down to two things: defense and stopping Tom Brady when it counts. The Jets did it last season in the playoffs against the Patriots. I'd like to see it happen again.

Maybe the next time Rex Ryan has a foot fetish, Plaxico Burress can shoot his foot...

2. New England Patriots - The Patriots did what the Patriots do - bring in malcontents and offer hope to the rest of the civilized world that anyone can be fixed with proper guidance. Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco are going to have to abide by Bill Belicheck's rules or they'll be out of there by the time the regular season starts. Let's see what the defensive line of the Patriots looks like come Week 1. Expect the Patriots to play many 4-3 fronts with Carter-Haynesworth-Wilfork-Ellis. That's scary anyway you look at it. But can they beat the Jets? Belichek is going to have to figure out a way to win his first playoff game since cheat-gate was exposed and he lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants.

3. Miami Dolphins - Dolphin fans are idiots. I understand not being happy with Chad Henne, but clamoring for Kyle Orton? Really? For this, I'd like to refer to Bunk Moreland, he of The Wire fame: "Makes me sick motherfucker, how far we done fell."

Bunk telling it like it is. Omar listenin'.

4. Buffalo Bills - The Bills trading Lee Evans told me two things, one which I already knew: 1. Ralph Wilson is the cheapest owner in the NFL and was just looking for a way to move Lee Evans' contract off the books 2. The Bills are not really satisfied with Ryan Fitzpatrick and Tyler Thigpen and are entering themselves in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. I wonder who Steve Johnson will blame this year for his drops in the endzone...maybe Godzilla?

2011 NBA Draft Recap - Western Conference

...and here is Part 2.

Southwest Division

Dallas Mavericks - The NBA Champion Mavericks went into the draft needing a more stable swingman considering Caron Butler's injury and the impending free agency. Out they came with Rudy Fernandez from the Portland Trail Blazers, a scorer who was unhappy in Portland and will certainly help Dirk on the perimeter. The rich get richer..no surprise here.

Fernandez joins the Champion Mavs

Houston Rockets - Just moments after picking Marcus Morris, the Rockets swapped Brad Miller and a future first round pick to the Timberwolves for Donatas Montejunas and Jonny Flynn. In Morris and Montejunas, the Rockets possibly have their future front court and if not, at least capable backups. Daryl Morey always seems to pick great role players/semi-star players, but never picks players who develops into superstars. He's the Basketball equivalent of Billy Beane.

Memphis Grizzlies - The Grizzlies had one pick in the second round and came out with Josh Selby. Selby who was a top ten recruit out of high school, just a year ago joins a team that already has Mike Conley Jr. and Greivis Vasquez. Perhaps the Grizzlies would have been better served to draft a European project center who might need to take over if Marc Gasol leaves in Free Agency.

Selby probably would have been better off to stay another year at KU.

New Orleans Hornets - The Hornets, who are owned by all the other owners in the NBA, picked Josh Harrelson from the University of Kentucky and traded him to the Knicks..for....cash. Right, that doesn't sound fishy at all. Meanwhile, expect Harrelson to join the pantheon of Brian Cardinal, Brian Scalabrine, and Mark Madsen as white guys who you cannot believe are in the league.

Josh Harrelson...hahahahhahaha

San Antonio Spurs - A pick that would have been declared a bust had any other team picked him, Cory Joseph was picked 29th overall by the Spurs. They also traded George Hill for Kawhi Leonard and David Bertans, perhaps an indication that the suits in San Antonio are looking to life after Tim Duncan/Manu Ginobli/Tony Parker.

Northwest Division

Denver Nuggets - Carmelo Anthony seems to be the gift that keeps on giving. The Nuggets swapped Raymond Felton to the Blazers in exchange for Andre Miller - George Karl's man-crush, and the Mavericks' first round pick of Jordan Hamilton. In addition, the picked Kenneth Faried from Morehead State. Faried has a legitimate chance to be a major contributor with the possible departure of Kenyon Martin via Free Agency so all in all, a great draft for the Nuggets.

I'm David Kahn and I should be fired by now, but.....

Minnesota Timberwolves - KAHHHHHHHHHN! Who knows what this guy is thinking any more? Whether it is being unable to find a trade partner for the #2 pick in the draft, or firing Kurt Rambis right after draft night, or making 30 trades to acquire second round picks, Minnesota failed. At least, Rubio is coming over after 300 years.

Ricky Rubio is here to save me (LOOK AT THAT HAIR!)

Portland Trail Blazers - Trading a point guard who fits your system (Andre Miller) for a point guard who likes to run (Raymond Felton) to play alongside a former franchise player whose knees are both shot (Brandon Roy) is not a good strategy especially when you don't have a GM (Paul Allen, you idiot). Picking an overrated Duke guard at #21 (Nolan Smith) is just icing on the cake.

Oklahoma City Thunder - Early Thursday, there were rumblings that the Thunder were looking to move into the top ten to pick Jonas Valanciunas by offering Eric Maynor. Well they kept Maynor and also picked Reggie Jackson from Boston College, who was rumored to have been promised to be picked by the Heat. Well done Sam Presti.

Utah Jazz - After the Jazz took Enes Kanter and broke all of Washington D.C.'s hearts including John Wall's, they proceeded to take Alec Burks with the twelfth pick. What would have been smarter and a much better PR move, especially in Salt Lake City, would have been to trade up to #10 and pick Jimmer Fredette. Could you imagine the craziness that would ensue in Utah?

Don't cry Enes. John Wall wanted to play with you too.

Pacific Division

Golden State Warriors - As much as I hate on Mark Jackson, it seems like his first draft was a winner. After picking former Laker Mychal Thompson's son, Klay, at #11, the Warriors drafted Charles Jenkins from Hofstra in the second round and traded for the infamous Jeremy Tyler. The selections of Thompson and Jenkins imply that Monta Ellis could be on his way out much sooner than later and Tyler gives the Warriors a player to develop on the inside.

Now, this..is just hilarious.

Los Angeles Clippers - Sure the Clippers picked Trey Thompkins in the second round - a pick that looks to be a steal. But, what decides how this draft turns out for the Clippers is how well Kyrie Irving ends up. Remember, the Clippers traded Baron Davis and their first round pick to the Cavaliers for Mo Williams, a clear salary-dumping move. If Irving turns out to be a perennial All-Star or a Hall of Famer, well, let's just say Blake Griffin will no longer be a Clipper after 2013.

Los Angeles Lakers - The Lakers picked Darius Morris from Michigan in the second round. The point guard should be eased into the rotation next year and will hopefully replace Derek Fisher...by yesterday. Solid pick.

One of these guys doesn't belong in the NBA..Guess who?

Phoenix Suns - What's with the Suns picking the less heralded twin? First Robin Lopez from Stanford several years ago and now Markieff Morris from Kansas. I'm not a big fan of the Morris twins, but hopefully he plays enough defense in what should be Steve Nash's last year in the desert.

Sacramento Kings - Can you imagine Jimmer Fredette, Tyreke Evans, and Demarcus Cousins hanging out after practice? This needs to be a reality show ASAP. Jimmer now has the responsibility of keeping basketball in Sacramento - nothing he can't handle. Hell, he could keep the Devil from doing evil.

Jimmer Fredette, coming to save the world at an NBA arena near you.

2011 NBA Draft Recap - Eastern Conference

NBA DRAFT 2011 - EUROTASTIC
 
The draft is over and now there is definitely nothing to look forward to all summer sportswise until the NFL starts up again.Training Camps will be brimming with the usual controversies and questions like "Who will be the starter at Quarterback for the Redskins - John Beck or Rex Grossman or Speedy Gonzalez?" or "How many times will Albert Haynesworth be arrested?" or "Will the Dallas Cowboys' roof collapse again?" or "Will Cam Newton's dad make his own salary with the Panthers?"

Apparently Newton has looked good in Panthers' players-only workouts

 
Atlantic Division

Boston Celtics - The Celtics ended up with two Purdue Boilermakers - JaJuan Johnson and E'twaun Moore who will no doubt eventually buy into the Celtics' philosophy of defense, rebounding, and scowling and trash talking players who are a foot shorter than you.

From Purdue, Indiana to Boston, Massachusetts

New Jersey Nets - MarShon Brooks has a chance to become the best shooting guard in this draft. He was an absolutely unstoppable, at times, scorer for the Friars and he could continue to fry (get it?) in the NBA. Jordan Williams from Maryland is undersized, short-armed, and though he dropped quite a few pounds, a bit overweight. Either he makes it as a great rebounder in the league, or he is out of it by 2013 and is shooting in an Israeli gym with John Gilchrist and Nik Caner-Medley.

Jordan Williams, post-weight loss. Too bad his arms didn't grow.

New York Knicks - Iman Shumpert provided one of the few WTF moments of the first round when he was taken by the Knicks. Spike Lee didn't even know his name! In a draft that was especially deep at guard, the Knicks picked a guy who most had going in the late first round. At least he plays defense..

Philadelphia 76ers - Nikola Vucevic was a player I really liked out of USC, but this pick does not really help the Sixers. Vucevic does the exact same things that Spencer Hawes does, albeit better. Lavoy Allen in the second round will not make the roster, but was probably given a shot because he is a hometown kid.


Toronto Raptors - So the team that needed the most help coming into this draft next to the Cavaliers has one draft pick and picks a guy who they will have to wait for at least a year...What? Valenciunas is apparently the next Ilgauskas so hopefully he's worth it for Bryan Colangelo.

Valanciunas isn't coming over..atleast not right now.

 Central Division

Chicago Bulls - The Bulls came away from this draft with Jimmy Butler from Marquette and forward Malcolm Lee from UCLA. Two hard working kids from reputable college programs will join a team that is built around defense - is anything more ideal? Butler's story is great (read it on ESPN.com), but I think Lee is the better player and will have a bigger impact.

Jimmy Butler has perhaps the best story in the Draft. Good for him.

Cleveland Cavaliers - In the first round, the Cavs selected Kyrie Irving and....Tristan Thompson?! For a team that is looking to revitalize interest in the team, the Cavaliers selected an awfully raw player. It would have been smarter for the Cavs to take Derrick Williams with the first pick and then pick Brandon Knight or Kemba Walker at 4, but they didn't and ended up with an unusually raw Tristan Thompson.

Tristan Thompson at #4? Really?

Detroit Pistons - One hell of a draft for a team without a coach. If they know what they're doing they will sign Bill Laimbeer to be their coach. Brandon Knight could be the best player from this draft, but it's going to be tough considering the guard rotation on the Pistons - Rodney Stuckey, Rip Hamilton, Ben Gordon, Tracy McGrady, etc. Kyle Singler and Vernon Macklin are great pickups in the second round and both those guys have the talent to make the roster.

Leonard heads to San Antonio to become the new Bruce Bowen

Indiana Pacers - The Pacers traded Kawhi Leonard and David Bertans to the Spurs for George Hill to be their starting shooting guard and thus ends any speculation of OJ Mayo to the Pacers.

Milwaukee Bucks - The Bucks swung a trade several hours before the draft and picked up Stephen Jackson and Tobias Harris. Harris is multi-talented and might be a starter in Milwaukee soon enough. Jackson replaces Maggette and it's always a good thing when you trade away Corey Maggette.

Southeast Division

Atlanta Hawks - The biggest news from the Hawks during the draft was the traded that didn't happen of Josh Smith to the Magic for a package including Jameer Nelson. The Hawks picked up Keith Benson from Oakland in the second round and he could become a good backup in the league.

Charlotte Bobcats - Rich Cho could win executive of the year even after trading for Corey Maggette. However, he could lose it after picking Bismack Biyombo and Kemba Walker. I'm not a big fan of Walker and Biyombo is anything but a sure bet. At least the Bobcats are ten times more athletic and can finally play Coach Paul Silas' defense.

Bismack Biyombo is a physical freak..whether he can play basketball is unknown.

Miami Heat - Norris Cole goes from the unknown confines of Cleveland State to possibly becoming a major role player on the most hated team in the history of time. Soon enough he will enter Eddie House territory.

Orlando Magic - Orlando had a very good draft, adding Justin Harper from Richmond and DeAndre Liggins from Kentucky. Harper gives the Magic another three point shooter and Liggins is a very good player who was a late bloomer for the Wildcats. None of this matters unless the team finds a way to re-sign Dwight Howard next offseason.

Harper gives the Magic another three point shooter.

Washington Wizards - Jan Vesely and Chris Singleton give the Wizards two players who can play both the forward spots interchangeably. I really don't understand the purpose of drafting Vesely he's a Euro who can't shoot..Maybe the way I think is wrong, but if I am building a team around my point guard of the future, I am giving him as many weapons as possible, especially weapons on the perimeter that are available for the drive-and-dish. Many fans preferred Singleton with the 6th pick so finding him at 18 was a pleasant surprise. Shelvin Mack in the second round should help shore up the backup situations in the back court, but I would have preferred Josh Selby, a player who has more home-run potential and a potentially great running partner with John Wall. All in all, a solid draft for the Wizards, but nothing spectacular.

Jan Vesely and his girlfriend making out..the highlight of the draft by far